The Act of Bowing

Bowing is a physical movement that represents acknowledging the other. This simple act, when done with heart-felt humility, is one of the most powerful and transformational gestures occurring between two people.  In the Constellation Approach^™ the bow is most often used between a child and a representative for their parent.

The bow encompasses many of the elements that are inherent in the healing process that occurs in the Constellation Approach^™.

The physical act of looking and fully seeing the other happens first. The client begins to move in the direction of the representative, followed by words that acknowledge and affirm their relationship.

This language initiates the accepting process of all that has happened between the two individuals.  Finally, through the proximal closeness of the two representatives, coupled with the sincerity of agreeing to all that’s happened between them, healing transpires.

This unpretentious, yet profound action — with or without words — accomplishes much. It holds the possibility for shifting imbalances that may have been held between the client and the other.  Humbly making eye contact, physically moving closer, lowering eyes and chin as the head bows, breathing softly, pausing, sensing, raising the head and returning once again to eye contact creates a new perspective — a new lens of seeing, feeling and taking the other into your heart.

Exercise:  
Close your eyes, take a few minutes to quiet your mind through breathing gently.  Come into the present by saying your name in this way:  “I am ______________ the son/daughter of, and then say your father’s full name __________________.”  Repeat this sentence three times, slowly. Allow an image of your father to appear before you.

Keeping your eyes closed; look at him in your mind’s eye, then slowly step toward him until you are face-to-face.  Imagine yourself lowering your eyes from his, letting your chin lower as well.  Continue to breathe fully, let your chin come to your chest as you bow your head deeply.   Stay here until you feel complete.   Allow whatever thoughts and feelings to occur without judgment.  Now let yourself return your gaze to his, continue to breathe, after a few moments allow his image to fade away.

Repeat as often as you wish.  Consider practicing the bow with your mother also.