Three Words that Heal
There are three simple words that are used in The Constellation Approach™ which offer a doorway into healing for anyone when spoken sincerely. We have found that in almost any relationship, these words are a reflection of a person in relation to the other. Bert Hellinger taught these to us and how to use them during our training with him. These words are the basis for much of the healing “dialogue” that happens in a constellation. The words are “Please, Yes and Thank you.”
“Please” is used in a constellation when a person wishes for something to change in the relationship. “Yes,” when the individual is in agreement with the other person in relation to what is, what has happened or what may happen in the future. “Thank you” becomes a complete reflection of appreciation for the other person for what they have done or given to you.
In a constellation the person working is often encouraged to say the word three times. This allows the effect of the word to be felt at deeper levels of experience. The first time a word is spoken, it usually comes from the mental level of consciousness. The person may just be repeating the word because the facilitator asked them to say it. They are speaking from their ‘head,’ so to say. The second time the word is repeated, the effects of the word can be felt on the emotional level of consciousness by the person speaking and by the person hearing the words.
Behind each word is energy. Everyone has had the experience of heart-felt words. That is the reason for repeating the word a second time, so it may be felt in the heart, on the emotional level. The third time allows the energy of the word spoken to be carried even further, to the Soul level. It is the level of awareness that what was said was complete; it holds the consciousness of the preceding levels. That is, the level of mental understanding, the level of emotional honesty and the level of connection with the other including the personality, yet beyond, into the realm of Soul agreement between each other.
You may wish to try this for yourself. Think of someone in your family. Reflect on your relationship for a few minutes then ask yourself, “Which word do I want to say to them?” If you have a picture, look at it, if not; hold their image in your mind. Say the word sincerely and wait 20 seconds. Now bring your awareness to your heart, maybe even place one hand there and repeat the word with heart-felt intention a second time. Wait 20 seconds and notice what you feel. Then repeat the word for the third time and allow whatever thoughts, (mental) feelings, (emotional) and perceptions (spiritual) come to you.
